If you are in danger, please use a safer computer, or call 911, your local hotline, or the U.S. National Domestic Violence Hotline at 1-800-799-7233 and TTY 1-800-787-3224. See more technology safety tips here <http://www.staysafeonline.info/>.

24 hour National Domestic Violence hotline: 800-799-SAFE (7233) 24 hour San Diego Hot Line: DV-Links

What is Domestic Violence : Domestic Violence, (sometimes referred to as domestic abuse) occurs when a family member, partner or ex-partner attempts to physically or psychologically dominate or harm the other. The term "intimate partner violence" (IPV) is often used synonymously, other terms have included spouse beating or battering, "relationship violence", "domestic abuse", "spousal abuse", and "family violence" with some legal jurisdictions having specific definitions. Recent attention to domestic violence began in the women's movement as concern about wives being beaten by their husbands, and has remained a major focus of modern feminism, particularly in terms of "violence against women". [1] Popular emphasis has tended to be on women as the victims of domestic violence although with the rise of the men's movement, and particularly men's rights, there is now some advocacy for men as victims, although the statistics concerning the number of male victims given by them are strongly contested by many groups active in research on or working in the field of domestic violence and "violence against men". Domestic violence occurs in all cultures; people of all races, ethnicities, religions, and classes can be perpetrators of domestic violence. Domestic violence is perpetrated by, and on, both men and women, and occurs in same-sex and opposite-sex relationships. Awareness and documentation of domestic violence differs from country to country. Estimates are that only about a third of cases of domestic violence are actually reported in the US and UK. In other places with less attention and less support, reported cases would be still lower. According to the Centers for Disease Control, domestic violence is a serious, preventable public health problem affecting more than 32 million Americans, or more than 10% of the U.S. population (Tjaden and Thoennes 2000). Domestic violence has many forms, including physical violence, sexual abuse, emotional abuse, intimidation, economic deprivation or threats of violence. There are a number of dimensions: mode - physical, psychological, sexual and/or social frequency - on/off, occasional, chronic severity – in terms of both psychological or physical harm and the need for treatment – transitory or permanent injury – mild, moderate, severe up to homicide. The means used to measure domestic violence strongly influence the results found. For example, studies of reported domestic violence and extrapolations of those studies show women preponderantly as victims and men to be more violent, whereas the survey based Conflict Tactics Scale, tends to show men and women equally violent.[2] Since the majority of studies investigate male-on-female domestic violence, information on female-on-male and same-sex violence tends to be less available. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Domestic_violence

DATING VIOLENCE-EDUCATION READ JENNIFER'S STORY: Jennifer Crecente was killed the day after Valentine's Day 2006 http://profile.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=user.viewprofile&friendid=56911440 http://jenniferann.org/dating_violence_risks.htm

YWCA of SD County... How to Help a Friend in an Abusive Relationship 1.  Tell her it's not her fault 2.  Tell her she doesn't deserve it. No one ever deserves to be hurt 3.  Tell her she's not crzay. A person who's been abused often feels upset, depressed, confused and scared. Let her know these are normal feellings. 4.  Don't try to pretend that the abusee isn't happening, or that it isn't that bad. Let your firiend know that you take it very seriously; pretending it's no big deal doesn't make it go away. 5.  Tell her good things about herself. Let her know you think she's smart, strong, and brave. Her abuser is telling her she is stupid and tearing down her self-esteem. 6.  Try to help your friend break out of the isolation her abuser has put her in. Keep in contact w/ her on the phone or by going out w/ her. 7.  Don't spread gossip.. it could put her in danger. 8.  Don't try to make her do anytghing she doesn't want to (it won't work unless it's her decision). 9.  Encourage her to build a wide support system... go to a support group, talk to friends and family. 10. Don't blame her for the abuse or her decisions: leaving an abusive relationship is hard and usually takes a long time. 11. See if she needs medical attention... she may not realize the extent of her injuries. 12.  Give her good information about abusive. Drugs, alcohol or social pressures do not cause domestic violence. 13. Tell her domestic violence is a crime and she can call 911 for help. if it's not safe to stay on the phone w/ the operator, run or go to a safe place. 14. Help her develop a safety plan for while she is still there and for when she is ready to leave. 15. Listen. Let her espress all her fears and other feelings. Even giving her good advice in a kind and respectful manner can be received as pressure and /or a reminder of everything she is not doing "right". 16. Don't initially challenge or reject her feeelings of shame, guilt, or embarassmanet. lGive her time to accept the reality of her situation and see what options seem viable to her. 17. Don't blame or attack the abuser. It will confuse her and perhaps mover her to defend him or her. 18. Be patient. Her self empowerment may take longer than you want. Go at her pace, not yours, unless the danger is imminent. 19. Ask her about the children. Encourage her to talk about the effects this is having on them. Validate those concerns. It may help her leave in the future. 20. Don't give up. Let her know you will be there for her when she may need help or just needs to talk.  www.letswrap.com

SAFTEY FIRST--PLEASE

Get Back Your Control

1.GET BACK CONTROL:  START BY MAKING LITTLE BUT GOOD CHOICES… 2.Quit lying to yourself… it is what it is and it’s abusive and you know it so admit it… to yourself and to someone you trust. 3.EDUCATE YOURSELF … get the facts…what are the signs 4.WATCH FOR THE RED FLAGS…that bad behavior that is about to erupt 5.Make a safety exit plan for yourself and children 6.Have an extra set of car keys and house keys hidden or with a trusted friend. 7.Make copies of important papers … keep them with you 8.Seek help… call 911 in an emergency 9.Go to a safe place or emergency shelter

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